Poobah Quotes
The following are little gems of wisdom and truth that when worked into conversations will impress just about anyone with a reasonable amount of intelligence. These are all 100% mine, unless otherwise noted. It may also be feasible that I stole them from others, but I have conveniently forgotten who originally said it and my mind has decided to give me credit. Since I trust my mind, I'm just gonna take credit.
| Justice is something to which the noble should aspire, the wicked should fear, and the intelligent should not expect. |
| It's only abstinence if you have a choice not to be. |
| Too many people believe lying is evil or bad. Personally I feel lying is a gift from God. Just like bazookas, they can be used for good or evil. |
| I feel like I'm standing in a crowd of people who are awed by a superhero and I keep thinking to myself.... "Am I the only one who has noticed he is riding a surf board in space?" |
| Atheists share the exact same flaws as the religious. Both believe they are right, and tend to look down on others who "can't see the light." |
| Who cares? Laugh your ass off! It's funny to you, and that’s all that matters. I can't believe this isn't taught in Kindergarten. |
| If the kittens didn't want it they wouldn't dress so sexy. |
| If you ever want to piss off your smoking friends, tell them that you won't come inside there house because you have already had a bath today. |
| Success has many definitions, just like expensive. |
| I get the giggles every time someone takes me seriously. |
| Meatloaf never did it for me, but that might be a psychological association with the foodstuff of the same name. |
| I have a ton of shitty ass gifts that tells me they didn't know enough about me to know what I like. |
| Too many of my dumbass relatives thought when I sent them a graduation invitation it meant I wanted them to come share my experience. I really only wanted an envelope delivered via U.S. mail filled with some monetary acknowledgement of my achievement. |
| I would punch my mother in the face to have your problems. Hard. And I love my mom. |
| True D&Ders died with 2nd edition. |
| Man you gotta have balls to be pretentious about hotdog condiments. |
| I say if a kid is going to a library to see sex pictures he probably isn't the kid we should really be worrying about. |
| Porn is free, I pay for Art. |
| Hmmmm, I wonder if a T-Shirt with "Shut up you crybaby Pussy" would sell? |
| Honestly, If you don't understand, you have no reason to care. |
| If I was to make up stuff about my life, I'd probably pretend to have eaten more pancakes too. |
| If you listen to this song, and someone says "Is he saying hot potatos?" the song will always sound like he is saying hot potatos from then on. |
| I do it because I am a greedy bastard. Once you realize you are too, you can become enlightened. Then if you still want the stuff, you too can become a greedy bastard. |
| I am a Kentucky Colonel. Yet I get no discount at KFC. Whats up with that? |
| You don't think Big Bird got that big eating seeds do you? |
| It takes more than just a phone call to sway my political persuasions. It takes candy, or even a cupcake. |
| I would kill for a water gun that squirted jelly. |
| Almost anyone can be funny for 2 minutes. It takes skill to be funny for an hour. |